hot day monday

i
am
melting
and
sweating
profusely.
my
skin
feels
like
it's
burning.
you
can
cook
eggs
on
it,
maybe
bacon
too.

a year after the conjugal bash

a year after the conjugal bash (warning: a lengthy narrative)

it's starts with me waking up and showering, snuggling to a sleeping sweet girl, running to hail a jeepney and a bus, getting to work late for the nth time; sitting, settling, and stretching, and finally, booting my system.

it's a warm and humid day in quezon city, very much in contrast to what we were subjected to last year.

i'm sitting near the side of the road, probably fifteen meters from the congested traffic of quirino highway, waiting statuesque at my desk. i swim through the oncoming murky haze of heat and dirt, noise and smoke. i choke and i drown.

around four in the afternoon, i hurried back home to take another shower and prepare for the revisitation. I heated some old chicken wings and had a quick lupper/dunch.

i was running late, again, and she obviously wasn't too happy about that. :P

we got to san sebastian a quarter past six.



as i stepped off from the car, the memories came rushing back.

06/17/08 a very sharp and painful feeling near my gut just informed me that my five year (unrecommended) tolerance with a gall bladder problem was finally about to end. ( the night when i got home, i was walking like a duck before heaving a very generous serving of pungent and rancid-like regurgitation. it was bitter and sour at the same time. erk)

06/18/08 i was admitted at medical city and was suddenly placed in a quandary: either forego the surgery, stack-up with painkillers and hope i'd be attack-free for that whole sunday, or -- carry on with the procedure with the possibility of postponing the scheduled event. yikes. i said, maybe i can have both, get the surgery done and proceed with the wedding, even if i'd have to be on crutches or a wheelchair.

06/19/08 i had my operation early and i was awake while they finished stitching me up. (i wanted to put off the surgery for so long because i really didn't want to be cut like a slab of meat, but i guess someBody had other plans. this procedure couldn't have come at a worse time.) i tried hard to force the numbness out of my lower body so i'd get back to my room as soon as i can. the anesthesia, of course, was still running through my body. i can't feel anything below my waist, and that was starting to bug me. i lifted my leg with my arms and dropped like a sack of rice. deadweight. when i was finally sent upstairs, an hour and a half after lying in the recovery room, i was welcomed by family, friends and loved ones. (cue in: a happy theme song or an air supply track like now and forever.)

06/20/08 i tried to expedite my recovery: by standing up as often as i could even if it felt like i was being ripped apart, by walking the corridors, and by trying to pass gas. yep.

06/21/08 i waited very anxiously to be discharged. i had so many pending errands on my to-do list. i can only choose to do a few that mattered. we went back home. i went up a stairway, against everyone's advice, so i'd get to my pc to burn those soundtracks. i made ten discs, labelled them, packed my bags, yelled at my brother for help, and then left for shangri-la. i squeezed a pillow to my stomach because every bump on the road felt like slices under my belly. when we arrived at the hotel, i gingerly stepped out and saw the wheelchair prepared for me. i waved and said i'll just walk it off.

i remember being very busy that saturday night and sunday morning. we finished the guest list and seat assignments, i welcomed my two cousins who came from michigan, and i was trying in vain to finish an avp that never saw the light of day.

i forgot all about the typhoon scheduled to arrive that weekend. i was too tired and too sleepy.

i remember waking up that sunday morning and seeing the moist windows. everything was light gray outside that i thought i was looking at a curtain at first. my younger brother helped me get up. i was afraid the stitches would come off and i'd have to pickup my poured-out guts from the bed.

i checked my cellphone and had a lot of startling messages. several people were telling me they might not be able to come, or that they might be late. some were reporting alternate routes from the hotel to the church. i was a little out of the loop, and i was starting to get lost in the conversation.

a college blockmate of mine said she won't be able to come, and i said it's ok but i asked why. she said it's because of frank. i said, oh, ok, well, maybe next time, next big gathering, i mean. then i asked, is frank your son? what's up, is anything wrong? she was probably doing the what's-up-with-this-guy look (the one where you pout your lips to one side and lift one of your eyebrows to that same direction) when she read the message. she replied, yung bagyo, ano ba. and then laughed.

it was a candid moment but when i set my phone down on the desk, my smile turned upside down and i started worrying a lot. the concern grew after i learned one of our secondary sponsors is stranded inside their house due to the flood in their village. that's the time i realized that this was worse than i thought.

a year after frank, the wedding crasher, we went back to this church and there were no signs of rain, not a drop, not even a hint of dew. in fact, it was very hot on 2009's june 22. a year after frank, my wound has healed (although still irritatingly numb in some points), we both took on extra pounds, and we now have twelve months of unison and promise-fulfilling under our belts.

gone are the scaffoldings outside; the heavenly and faded light blue shade all over the church has been replaced by a mint green color that, for me, has lessened it's appeal a little bit.

we went inside and i began taking in the majesty of this very old church. at a quick glance, you'd know this place is rich with history and culture.

last year, i wasn't able to appreciate this place as much as i should have. we chose this place because we wanted every second in the ceremony to be remembered, particularly by us. we wanted it to be special, a place older than us, or even our parents or their parents. we wanted a solemn place where the echoes you hear were the same echoes made by our forefathers.

i remember squeezing in an suv on the way to the church. because of my recent operation, i chose not to sit in front. it felt uncomfortable and weird to travel to your wedding in that manner. but, with these circumstances, i'd take whatever was thrown at me. i doubt many grooms out there were drove through endless flooded streets just to make the big 'i do'. my cousins from the u.s. were quick to photo-document the whole journey. philippines, you make me so proud with your very nice sewage system. clogged drain? just wait 4-5 hours for the water to be a couple of inches from the ground, and you're good to go. just watch out for the floating debris. ok?

i remember entering the church assisted by one of our coordinators and my friends. i brushed off the raindrops on my tux as i slowly go pass the steel doors. i noticed that there was no power, no electricity, and the church's generator won't do. we probably waited almost two hours before we decided to go for it even without lights or sound system.

the big surprise was the turnout at the church (and even more overwhelming was the number of attendees at the reception.) despite the flood, the torrential downpour, and the power outage, a lot of people still attended and we appreciate this act of kindness and thoughtfulness very, very much.

just like then, there weren't much lights when we returned. there were the hanging chandeliers, some were swaying because of the wind, a few lights from the side, i think, and the rays coming in from the stained glass, but that was it. when we went inside, we left the warm embrace of the cruel day out at the parking lot. inside the church, it was breezy, and it was calm. i felt very welcome inside, as if i stepped on a red carpet and i was asked to stay for dinner.

last year i saw magic firsthand; many of us did. for so long, the power was out and we decided to go ahead with the ceremony anyway because we had to stick to schedule. we already spent most of the two-hour reservation at the church, and it looked like we were about to consume the time alloted for photos, preps and cocktails. so we began. The entourage walked in the dark lit only by the light brought by jason's crew. when the doors opened, and when ria started walking the aisle, i started hearing humming noises, electrical humming sounds. i looked left and right, and saw some guys smiling giving me the thumbs up. the lights went back on as ria made her way from outside the wet doorway. she shone brightly and i felt everybody's spirit up and kicking.

i just love this place. i love the stained glass. i love the tints, the watermarks, the rusty walls and pillars. i love the smell and tiled floor, the altar, the statues and deep reverberating echoes. i love the uncompromising feel of the whole place. i love the fact that this place was witness to the many people who made it against difficult odds: family, relatives, friends and suppliers.

i wasn't able to express my gratitude last year to so many people who helped us. i'd like to take this opportunity to thank those many people who were very integral last year, without them, the event will surely be missing an arm or a leg.

first God, then our parents, (pa larry, ma precy, dad boy, ma au), and family (kuya omar, rj, louie, pearly and zoe); our relatives, particularly my recently passed uncle jiji who always showed support and attended the event in spite of his condition; many who made the effort of travelling from abroad, and many other loved ones and friends. thanks to father mike for a very memorable, reverent and heartfelt celebration. many thanks our principal sponsors who were all very encouraging and thoughtful, thanks for being present at the church. thanks to san sebastian church, the parish priest and staff, and for the people who made the floral arrangment there (tita shirley, et al).

super thanks to the following: on-the-day coordination just-like-ours queen and david and crew, jason magbanua and crew, ryan and randall of mangored (and the guys who filled in for randall), edwin tan, randy ortiz, henry pascual, edsa shangri-la and lan po, kathy lopez-olmedo for the cocktails, choco indulgence, 92 ad, missy ferrer for hosting, toto bagamasbad for their makeup, cliquebooth, virginia juan for the cake, sensitivity for the sound system and lights, mang erning anicete for the male entourage wear, syoti for the female wear; meicel, and don robert for the vintage ride on the sleek jag.

thanks to our fellowship (felomoship) of the ring, :), our lomographer friends who brightened the day with flashes and splashes: zoe, chris, mon, tara, gab, jennie, jonas, and jim, and pepper (in spirit :) ). i wish we could have invited more. last but not the least, thanks to our former work friends, from sm and continental airlines, our friends from lasalle, lourdes, icam, and sando.

thanks for last year and for all the things you've done for us (and with us) before our big day, after and definitely soon. :D see you guys around, have an excellent day everyday.

(pics by r1a)

simultaneously slow and fast

do i have time to waste or am i wasting time?
captivated by nuances;
caught between irony and coincidence;

time is priceless, the most valuable intangible commodity
in the world, in life;
depleting, non-renewable, and unique.

clocks wind and tick.
the sand slips, spiralling down the narrow canal,
into a void we can not flip the other side.

time...
...'s up, time...
...out

to "make time", "go back in time," or "be timeless,"
you'd have to be fictional, fantastic or mythical;
acceptance is work, the truth is harsh.

time moves and passes, the most common cause of death.
time swiftly prances and drags,
simultaneously slow and fast.

to twats

keep me in the loop first, otherwise bug off and quit wasting my time.

ol' espanya

played last night at mayric's. thanks to mayonnaise. shared the stage with other fine groups, menaya and publico.



it was blast to be there again, after a year or so of playing elsewhere. mayric's was sando's first stage, our break-in bar. long live!

the jerk

thank goodness for torrents! irc downloads were ok in the late 90's, peer to peer was great with napster kicking things off, followed by kazaa then limewire, but torrents are just the best.

after watching a downloaded copy of saturday night live episode 29, aired 10-23-1976, i am reminded how steve martin is a fantastic comic genius. equally as great, if not better than bill murray or the late snl star, john belushi. steve has timing that very few actor-comedians have.

although appearing in numerous episodes as host and in cameos, he was never a cast of saturday night live.

in this episode, his trademark white hair was still grayish. he also showcased his musical talents particularly with the banjo. he also made a bold but uncannily accurate forecast of chevy chase's career during a jeopardy 1999 sketch - how it would decline shortly after he leaves snl (credit should probably go to the writers). he has one of the best monologue intro i've seen from the show. he's absolutely funny. his raw style was better in the late 70's up to the 80's than how it is lately. nowadays, he's pretty much into family movies which consequently tones down his comedy to a minimal smirk and chucklish result.

come back stevie.

thanks again torrents. without you, i'd be forced to watch tv.

pork and beans

the new weezer single was finally released. pork and beans.

after three albums, the crunchy old feel is back. although matt is not around to provide the fuzzy-distorted bass, i'll stick around and munch on this track, and probably on every other single the expected june album will contain as well.

the red album is the sixth studio album by weezer, and the fourth without bassist/vocalist matt sharp. and i just have to accept that he's not coming back; nor will ric ocasek. the quirky feeling i get listening to the blue and pinkerton album will not return, and the radio friendly weezer songs are here to stay.

rivers cuomo is weezer, even his solo album sounds weezer. i just have to note that his solo track, "lovers in the snow," is superb. it's so lo-fi and fits just right in the pocket of my mind.

matt sharp, meanwhile, is busy with his probably upcoming album after releasing an ep last august 2007, the last little life. after listening to the 4-track ep, it left me wanting and waiting for more. the sound is more mature than the first album, the return of the rentals. and similar to the unlikelihood of matt returning to weezer, i guess the rentals won't be turning back to their old young synthpop sound either.

now while i'm waiting for the red album, and the possible new rentals album, i'll continue reminiscing the good ol' blue and pinkerton days when matt and rivers where at best, not in bad terms. hope is for lazy idealists like me, and that's a reason why i love their blue song, "only in dreams."

it's been 14 years since i've known this band, weezer, and i guess that's a huge chunk of years there. it's been different since matt left, but being a fanatic, i still like how the other three albums turned out. so when i hear that this new one will be a bit of a back-to-form sounding release, that just knocks my socks off and makes me crack a teary little smile.